There are just sooooo many bands these days. And naturally, the more there are, the harder it is to stand out. The key to commanding a marquee today seems to be largely in the name. Pick a catchy one and people might at least remember you, even if you
Unfortunately, the imagination going into choosing these names seems to be rapidly diminishing. To save an up and coming musician's time and energy when they could be out ROCKIN, I've put together a fully categorized list with potential
attention-grabbing monikers. Just match the attitude you want your band to project with the ones listed below, and select a name.
POP CULTURE BLASPHEMY
Examples: Eve's Plum, Don Knotts Overdrive
Attitude: You are a crazy bunch of media savvy iconoclasts whose perky music might just take the pop world by storm.
Dress: Very carefully thought out I-Don't-Care look. Lead singer wears an old Donnie and Marie shirt. The drummer has a Starsky and Hutch lunchbox.
Lorne Greene Day
Sammy Davis Jr's Glass Eye Revue
Veruca H.T. Salt Fish & Chips
Norman Mailer Female?
Woody Allen Funt Experience
Searching For Eddie Fischer
Father, Son, and Donny Most
SOUNDS COOL BUT MEANS NOTHING
Examples: Portishead, Mazzy Star
Attitude: You approach the mystical in a commercial new-agey way. Your music is all about spreading a vague message of peace and conspicuous consumption.
Dress: Neo-Hippiesque 'don't care' dress accented by your strong unwashed/patchouli odor.
Frontal Lobe Muffler
The Floating Grandmas
Bald Man Fever
Deja Vu Itch
Examples: Morphine, Codeine
Attitude: Dangerous drugs are cool. Oh, yeah. We play music too.
Dress: Do I have to get dressed?-look.
Really Strong Magic Marker
Retin and the A-tones
St. Joseph's For Children
Vince Calamine & The Lotions
Examples: Genesis, Jesus Lizard
Attitude: You're band is so good, you inspire God Himself to ROCK.
Dress: Standard rock fare of the time. You don't want to annoy God too much. Just in case.
MC 9,000,000,431 Ft. Jesus
Go Go God
JUST PLAIN DISGUSTING
Example: 4Skins, Revolting Cocks
Attitude: Society sucks so we're going to scream and dump stuff on you.
Dress: When not taking a dump onstage or running around college campuses naked, you wear freshly killed animal hide.
Steaming Cat Puke
Eye Socket Sandwich With Cole Slaw
Rudy & The Felchmonsters
The Psoriasis Explosion
Raging Dog Cock
Sucking Athlete's Foot
Fitting Another Man's Penis Inside Your Own
For added variety you can mix 'n match name parts together for an almost unlimited variety of results!
--Ed Schmidt Caligula@aol.com
HAPPINESS IS A HUMAN HEAD
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