![[POEMS I WROTE IN FIRST GRADE]](1grade_t.gif)
Recently, I found a notebook that my first-grade teacher
made us write all our stories in. These early works
of genius foreshadowed the immense literary talent
I was to become. Even these early works are of such
high quality I decided to reprint them in their original
form with English Standard translations where needed.
Santa Dog
Ther
Was . a lettle
Dog.
Ho ho ho ti [it] is
Santa Dog
-10/12/76
I Love Youa [You]
[A Poetic Dialogue]
O Swete [Sweety]
I love you
O shatap [Oh, Shut up]!
-10/28/76
Mommy
Mommy?
Wty! [What-y? This is another poetic dialogue.]
I wat [went]
Poo-Poo in my
Pans [Pants]
Well Bless my sol [soul]
-1/21/77
Rain
Rain o' Rain
Is wet!!?!?!
Wet 3
Wet 6
Wet 9
Get the duck wet
The and
-March 1977
The Day My Pans [pants] faldon [fell down]
One day I was jogen [jogging] outsida. I started jogen
so fast o bai the ya my pans wer los [I forgot(?) my
pants were loose.] I sad [said] Wow and than ti hppod
[it happened...]
E.E.E.E.E. My Pans Fldon! [My pants fell down!] I was
runing and so I jopt [jumped] up to a tree. Wen I jopt
don [jumped down] my ond shrt came ouf. [own shirt
came off.] E.E.E. Im nakit [I'm naked!] Son [soon]
I got my Pans onn mysf [on myself] and I got a vee
teing not. [a something tying knot?]
The and
-April 1977
If you want to read more of the product of my early
genius, write to me at
drbubonic@aol.com. I have a
good Hardy Boys adventure where Sean Cassidy and I
take on a house full of ghosts, and an epic adventure
where I am shrunken and ride a space-faring gerbil,
naked.
Deathstyles of the Rich & Famous
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