Enough with the cigars! Please! Is that all you people think about? - Fidel Castro

So tell me, what happened at the end of the play? - Lincoln

And that was the tragedy part of our show, and now if you could, Lords and Ladies, put your hands together for Rapscallion and his Naked Dwarves! - Shakespeare

What's a little greased monkey-boy like yourself doing alone in the olive grove? - Aristotle

I'm jerkin' off! Whadda think I'm doin' with my hand? - Napoleon

Ouch! Hey! Watch it with that thing, will you? - Marquis de Sade

You want another fuckin' colored egg? Jesus Christ! Bend over then and I'll shit foil candy wrappers on your head, motherfucker! - Easter bunny

You want to put up three additional Presidents? But why? - Theodore Roosevelt

Write *more*? What... You think I'm some kind of hack? - Stephen King

You're sixteen? Geez, you don't look a day over twelve. You know, I'm a director. No, really, I am. - Woody Allen

Ooze Magazine The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits