Stupidest Shareware

It's the long-standing tradition here at Ooze to seek the most pointless shareware in the world, and share it with you. This month we've scouted two "novelty" applications for the macintosh meant to promote their respective author's websites. We wonder about the "clientele" they attract.


A retarded monkey would have a hard time staying awake playing this game. This program simply emulates a stapler. Click on it, and the stapler depresses making a familiar "clicking" sound. You earn one point. When you get ten points, a matronly voice shouts, "Splendid!" Nothing else ever happens, even if you score over two thousand points. That's when my monkey fell asleep on the keyboard.

200K Works with any Mac running system 7, 16+ colors
Contact:Freeverse Software
Freeverse Web Pages

Mad Cow Roulette

Even though the British Mad Cow media sensation is long over, we are left with this bit of its legacy. Evocative of the powerful scene in "The Deer Hunter", you play God with the life of a despondent cow, doomed to die from either a frightening disease or a bullet in the head. The most mysterious part of the program happens right after the cow inevitably blows his head off. The blood clears, and the face of the cow is replaced with that of the British Prime Minister. Why? Is this some sort of political comment planted by IRA agents? You decide.

210K Works with any Mac running system 7, 16+ colors
Contact:Argus IG
Argus's WWW Site

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The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits