Oh my fucking God. Today I saw the strangest thing I've EVER witnessed in the course of my employment at the Lusty Lady [A strip club in San Francisco where, to view the strippin', you go into a private booth where the window stays open as long as you pump coins into the slot while you pump yourself. -ooze] .
A guy comes into my booth with a briefcase and immediately takes off his pants, rubbing his dick and fingering his asshole the whole time. I pick up on the asshole thing and tell him how hot I think it is to watch a guy fuck himself, you know, for extra tips. He then manages to pull his own dick around and insert it in his own asshole. I'm already pretty amazed by this (not to mention jealous) but he keeps going, alternating this trick with fisting himself.
From his mysterious briefcase he produces a dildo of epic Jeff Stryker-like proportions with a suction cup at the base. He sticks the dildo onto my window so I can see this monster plunging in and out of his ass. For the piece de resistance, he reaches back into the briefcase and pulls out a bottle (for a moment I worry it's glass, but it turns out to be plastic, like a smallish Evian bottle) that has had its top cut off. Inside the bottle is a LIGHT which he controls from a hand-held extension switch.
He plunges the whole contraption into his asshole and my jaw hits the floor. It's exactly like a segment from an operation show you see on the Discovery Channel with those little cameras that go inside people's bodies. I can see the color of his colon change, all these insane little mucus membranes, and lots of other scary details which look like the special effects from a David Cronenberg movie. The whole event was weird and hallucinatory; the Burroughs-like pulsing and puckering of a voracious asshole. How's that for science fiction?
Afterwards I was just kind of like, "Thank you, that was utterly fascinating". Some people charge more for guys that want to do something that perverse, but I must admit it made my day much more interesting. Apparently this guy performs his "show" fairly regularly, as most of the other girls have seen it. Maybe you just had to be there...
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The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits