You've had a lousy day and decide to go to a bar. It's time to ditch the usual freaks you hang out with and meet new, exciting ones. Perched on a red leatherette barstool, you order a drink with an umbrella when suddenly this creature takes the seat next to you. Smiling seductively, he runs his long fingers through greased back hair. You soon find your drink paid forgreatbut it comes with a hitch. Adjusting the drape of something slick and polyester, he says:
Those clothes look awfully good on you, but honey, they'd look better on my bedroom floor.
Sweetheartare you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all night!
Was your daddy a thief? No? Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes?
OUCH. How do men ever get laid? I spit on these pathetic scum! Their genes are not fit to propagate the Earth. But you, dear reader, are not beyond hope. Here are some
Pick-up Lines (for Men) That Always Work:
Back to the Table of Contents
The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits