Ooze #4 Winter 1995

Journal of Wit, Excellence, and Chronic Masturbatory Habits

It's been one year since the annals of Ooze have been leashed upon the uninformed masses, and oh, how the world has been changed. Ooze has triumphantly swept into the mainstream consciousness of our neo-global society, and forever changed its face Who would have guessed just a year ago that we would be responsible for brokering peace between the Arabs and the Jews? Not I for one. Or predicted our successful senate bid, ousting a three term incumbent? Scant few indeed. How about the stellar artistic success of our on-line boil-popping forum? Lancing will never be the same.

This issue, in addition to our usual hard hitting journalism, we begin to explore the world at large. Our roving hordes of reporters have, with great danger to themselves, sent us stories and journals from their trips abroad. In part one we focus on Places to Annoy People in the USA. If you are planning a trip, I suggest you print out this guide and throw away that moldy Let's Go book. They're full of crap. Then check out our guide to celebrity restaurants soon to open in your area. Take a simple test to confirm your own god-hood. Found out the lurid truth behind Trigonometry class. Reminisce about asses we were unduly exposed to at a tender, fleshy young age. Marvel at our stunning exclusive with 90210 star, Jason Priestley. Oooh, the excitement, the thrills, the cost to access this modern masterpiece!

Bon Poupon!

  • Staff list and legal mumbo-jumbo

    Ooze Magazine
    The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits