"Modern Day Medicine Lover"

a chart topping song by Jason Tremblay (Mobiuss@aol.com)

I can remember quite lucidly,
When I was a boy,
Laying on a hospital bed in an open-back gown.
  • My parents gazed blankly, politely, out the window
  • As the doctor probed my rectum with his finger.
  • "Nice and tight," said he,
  • Though I thought it a rather odd thing to say.

  • (CHORUS)
  • Hey, doc, can I have another?
  • Hey, doc, can you put me under?
  • Send in another nurse,
  • I'm growing slightly worse,
  • I'm a modern day medicine lover.

  • I can recall only vaguely, hazily
  • Having radioactive syrup injected into my pelvis.
  • Shaved my pubes, talk about razor burn,
  • Think I pissed myself, I blame the drugs.
  • How can they expect smalltalk while you're high
  • with a wire running behind your dick?

  • (CHORUS)

    I can recall painfully, disjointedly,

  • A large nurse saying, "This might hurt a little bit,"
  • As she began reeling in a three foot line that ran through
  • my love muscle to my bladder.
  • I still wanted to scream through all the drugs I was on
  • During that fine February afternoon.
  • I pissed in blue- handled water pitchers for days until
  • I could walk again.


  • Hey, doc, can I have another? (one fer the road!)
  • Hey, doc, can ya put me under? (amaze your friends!)
  • Send in a sexy nurse, I'm headin' for a Hearse,
  • I'm a modern day medicine lover.
  • Predictions for 1995

    Ooze Magazine
    The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits