THE SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT...
- MMSDC@AOL.COM "mental disident and hacker extraordinaire"
As I was dozing off today in Trigonometry class, it began to fall into place. As my mind wandered off, I began to perceive another dimension which overlapped our own. Imagine my horror, as I realized that the teacher wasn't solving problems, but was summoning gods from another dimension trying to cross over into our own. Among them, "Nollig" was beaming his nefarious instructions to weak-willed students through the equations on the board. It wasn't really that the teacher was figuring arc cosine, but that it was a sort of pagan fertility/death rite. He wasn't using those expensive graphing calculators to solve quadratic trinomial three-dimensional analysis problems, he was really attempting to build a gateway to this other dimension to release this wholly evil math spawn on earth! It all made sense just then; Trig = Satanism.
Now, I wouldn't want to violate my covenant with God, so I've decided to flunk Trig. How can I feel good about unleashing demonic terrors upon an unsuspecting world by giving in and solving these equations? I'd rather flunk trig than be responsible for the death of millions and risking an eternity in hell.
That's why I've started a nation-wide information campaign against Trigonometry. Help fight to protect the souls of our nation's youth against the hidden evilness of higher mathematics! Flunk Trigonometry... before it's too late.
James Brown Diaries
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