The Movie Guru's Guide to Flickering Stills Projected on a Screen at 24 Frames per Second
Reviews so entertaining, you may as well skip the movies...
The Movie Guru, Zak Weisfeld, when he is not earning fame as a writer for Ooze, earns actual cash writing reviews for a paper in Knoxville or somewhere. Ooze has decided to provide these reviews to you, at no extra charge. Move over Peter Greenway, the Movie Guru is the final authority in all matters on film!
Special Guest Appearance by MJ Loheed with 10 REASONS WHY INDEPENDENCE DAY SUCKS MY COCK
Striptease is a Scriptease at best
Cable Guy Better off getting cable.
Twister Blows and Sucks
Spy Hard's PrisonersSpy Hard and Heaven's Prisoners are more alike than you think.
If Lucy Fell Would anyone hear it?
Rumble in the Bronx Jackie Chan is Comming To America (or a reasonable Canadian facsimile)
CopyCat Not very original.
Get Shorty He liked it.
TO DIE FOR He even liked this one.
Showgirls Scary Strippers.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
All reviews copyright 1995, 1996 by Zak Weisfeld
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