The Movie Guru's Guide to Flickering Stills Projected on a Screen at 24 Frames per Second

Reviews so entertaining, you may as well skip the movies...

The Movie Guru, Zak Weisfeld, when he is not earning fame as a writer for Ooze, earns actual cash writing reviews for a paper in Knoxville or somewhere. Ooze has decided to provide these reviews to you, at no extra charge. Move over Peter Greenway, the Movie Guru is the final authority in all matters on film!

Special Guest Appearance by MJ Loheed with 10 REASONS WHY INDEPENDENCE DAY SUCKS MY COCK

Summer Blockbusters!

  • Striptease is a Scriptease at best
  • Cable Guy Better off getting cable.
  • Twister Blows and Sucks
  • Spy Hard's PrisonersSpy Hard and Heaven's Prisoners are more alike than you think.
  • If Lucy Fell Would anyone hear it?
  • Rumble in the Bronx Jackie Chan is Comming To America (or a reasonable Canadian facsimile)

    Older Reviews

  • CopyCat Not very original.
  • Get Shorty He liked it.
  • TO DIE FOR He even liked this one.
  • Showgirls Scary Strippers.
  • Dangerous Minds
  • The Net?
  • To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar

    All reviews copyright 1995, 1996 by Zak Weisfeld
    Yell at Zak at:

    Go to Ooze