PLATFORM of EL CULO NEGRO
Kids today are dazzled by Hollywood's virtual worlds and not paying enough atten-tion to learning. El Culo Negro urges Hollywood to use its teen stars like Freddie Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar to make educational blockbusters like "Algebra II" and "European History In the 17th Century." El Culo Negro also promises that if he becomes Vice-President, he will learn to read.
He not only supports the current administration's ability to expand the nation's econo-my, but El Culo Negro believes that poor people do not have enough money, and should get more. He has various innovative plans to increase wealth among the underprivileged, including coupon clipping services, government subsidized tickets to sporting events, and the legalizing of money found in various board games.
El Culo Negro favors Gore's plans on Universal Healthcare. If it were up to El Culo Negro though, Universal Healthcare would truly include everyone in the universe, not just the People Of Earth.
Like El Culo Negro, we all wear masks on the outside of our faces so that we may classify ourselves to the world. On the inside though, we are all people who look like regular people. El Culo Negro believes in civil rights for everyone, no matter what "mask" they choose to wear. Personally, Culo does not like Eskimos, but that is irrele-vant.
GAYS IN THE MILITARY:
Gay men are good wrestlers and El Culo Negro has seen many of their videos. He would be honored to serve at their side.
El Culo Negro believes that the only trees that should be taken from the forest are ones that can be removed by hand. This will limit deforestation, and raise the demand for large, barrel-chested lumberjacks.
Experiments in the creation of new life forms sit well with El Culo Negro. He draws the line at any new organism that has the ability to speak. Talking tomatoes are scary.
El Culo Negro does not want average citizens to kill each other, so he is against assault rifles and cop killing bullets. He brings to the ticket a desire to get more futuris-tic weaponry into the hands of the military, such as laser guns and photon torpedoes.