Files to Transfer Personally

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All files have been featured in previous issues' Stupidest Shareware. All software guaranteed Stupid.

All files are Bin Hexed and stuffed with stuffit, unless otherwise noted.

Mac Games
Bird Poop.hqx(148k)
Birdpoop, programmed by George Patterson, first appeared in issue #4's Stupidest Shareware. This incredibly inept program allows you to dodge bird poop while catching valuable Manna Of The Birds. Funny for a little while.

Cheesehead Attack! (163k)
Control the editor of Ooze as he battles Censorship, AOL, his brother, Farts, and worse collecting manna to create this magazine. Catch the Baby-With-Fork-In-Head for extra pojnts! When I first recieved this game I was scared for three weeks. Based on Slick Willie.

Ninjerk is a horrid Hypercard fighting game very losely based on Mortal Kombat, as programmed by a 13

Shitcatcher (86k)
In Shitcatcher, turds are lobbed your way and you have to catch them or suffer the consequences.

Oozeme(25k) is less of a game and more of a quicktime 2.0 MIDI-compatible song. -Mike Jelks

This program simply emulates a stapler. Click on it, and the stapler depresses making a familiar "clicking" sound. You earn one point. When you get ten points, a matronly voice shouts, "Splendid!" -Freeverse Software

Mad Cow Roulette
Evocative of the powerful scene in "The Deer Hunter", you play God with the life of a despondent cow, doomed to die from either a frightening disease or a bullet in the head. -Argus IG

iie Emulation Archive
These files are featured in Ooze #8's Stupidest Shareware. They are all MacBinaryII files. Adjust downloading accordingly.

STM0.881(266k) is the easiest to use Apple ][ emulator for the Mac.

Blank Disk(7k) is for saving games and stuff on a disk image.

DSK AutoTyper(14k) will help you make any DSK file usable with STM.

Choplifter(64k) is a classic helicopter battle/rescue game.

Joust(72k) Flap flap flap flap.

Presents(67k) is the online tutorial disk that came with the ][+. Besides being hilarious, it actually helps you remember how to use those damn machines.

Roadwar 2000(116k) is actually a very challanging post-apocolyptic romp.

Mac Bizzare Utilities
These files are Bin Hexed and Stuffed.

Eat Me & Drink Me(23k)
eat Me & Drink Me are two bizarre little programs that make things bigger and smaller. -Ian Smith (

Meltdown is a tiny program that causes your monitor to molt.

A tiny extension that randomly creates a squeak and tiny mouse poops on your work.

The State(71k)
The State is easy to describe, hard to understand. Upon start-up, your computer flashes you a Directive directly from the State. You Will Enjoy This Program. -Zak Weisfeld ( & Ian Smith (

Ooze Extension(63k)
This extension creates a tiny animated screaming man on start-up.

Trek Font(29k)
I don't know what this is, but it's the only Windows thing submitted to me. It's uuencoded.

Ooze Back Issues
Ooze #1(286k) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #1(484k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #2(493k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #2(470k) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #3(783k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #3(534k) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze#4(1182k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #5(646k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #6(926k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #6(728k) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #7(1219k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #7(1189k) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #7(58k) Text only
Ooze #8(812k) Macintosh application (Bin Hex)
Ooze #8(1.1 megs) Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #8(70K) Text only
Ooze #9 Macintosh application
Ooze #9 Adobe Acrobat
Ooze #9 Text only

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