NEW VIDEOS!
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CATS! In Prague?
Rini visits Prague and goes to a blacklight puppet show billed as "Cats!" and in tiny letters, "...in Prague" Is this a rendition of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, or a tourist trap? The truth is bewildering.
Running Time: 3:15 - download 7 MB
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HUSTLE: an educational "rap" video
LISTEN and LEARN! The Royal Board of Educations in association with Funkdamental Presents: Hustle (Don't Just Sit There) An Motivational Diversion for Schoolchildren by Bootyquake Formula No. 7 of Sheffield and Steve Benaquist.
Running Time: 1:55 - download 10 MB
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Saddam makes racist remarks before execution
Saddam Hussein was caught on a cellphone video camera making racist remarks to guards who were shouting at him. this video includes a subtitle track so anyone can follow along. Not since the Michael Richards cellphone video has such hatred been uncovered.
Running Time: 1:50 - download 11.3 MB
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THE DINGLEBERRYS IN:
The AGONY of DEFETUS
The Hottest Rock Band in Hollywood, The Dingleberrys - a Bunny, Chicken and Gorilla, live under the 101 freeway in a self-storage unit. But it's hard living together in cramped quarters waiting to make it to the top..
Running Time: 1:30 - QUICKTIME (DSL, cable) 5 MB
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Ooze: The Marketing Reel
We tried to summarize what oozeTV was in six minutes. We failed. We did it in six and a half.
Running Time: 6:35 - Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 20.3 MB
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| MOST VIEWED VIDEOS |
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THE ADULTS FOR ADULT CINEMA
(Protesting movie chains for NOT showing porno)
What do we want? Porn in mainstream movie theatres! Ooze confronts confused patrons outside several suburban movie palaces, and is even "removed" by the LA County Sheriff's Department.
Running Time: 5:38 - Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 8.3 MB
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HOLLYWOOD SEX TOUR
Ooze convinces seven unsuspecting tourists to drive with us for two hours to see the places where celebrity scandals happened - the toilet where George Michael jerked off, the alley Eddie Murphy picked up a foot fetishist and much much more. Quicktime (7 min.) 11 MB
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OBEY THE SIGNS ...and LIVE!
Award Winning Subversion
Obey the Signs Webpage
Educational film with a strict moral message. - 4:30 |
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The Birds & The Bees
(The Mating Dance)
We apologize for any disturbing videos you have seen on oozeTV. Please watch this soothing video to take your mind off any terror you may have experienced. Please do not be alarmed by the man gyrating in the thong. Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 1.8 MB |
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The CELEBRITY RIGHTS ASSOCIATION
Celebrities are better than regular people - they're famous and you aren't! They need to have their special rights and privileges recognized by the law. Ooze decided to popularize their plightby taking to the street outside a Hollywood Premiere.
Hi-Fi (DSL, Cable etc.) 4.3 MB
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The Force is a Tool of Satan: The Trailer
Ooze Ooze poses as fundementalist christians opposed to The Force as a false religion which dooms fans to an eternity in hell.
Quicktime (1:09 min.) 4.2 MB
THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED
See how the MPAA controls what you see in this series of semi-animated films.
Ooze was invited to create Proof of Concept visuals for a segment in the Sundance Festival film, "This Film is Not Yet Rated" by Kirby Dick - This footage, although sometimes similar, DOES NOT APPEAR in the film. These movies are more like a slide show that was used by the producer to show how animations would work in the final film. They're still FUNNY.
How Does the MPAA Rate Films?
A primer as to how the system is supposed to work.
3.9 MB (2:50)
MP4 (hi-res) or QUICKTIME
The MPAA Mass Appeals Board
A guilde for filmmakers looking to change their ratings.
2.2 MB (1:35)
MP4 (hi-res) or QUICKTIME
MPAA Marketing Fun
If you're an MPAA rated film, all of your marketing material must be rated G - no matter what. (not in final film)
2.8 MB (2:15)
MP4 (hi-res) or QUICKTIME
Dingleberrys' Videos!
 The Dingleberrys are at it again - this time they're preparing you for their dramatic debut. Watch a bunch of furry animals make their friend choose: his band, or his unborn baby.
Your Baby, or the BAND! 1.4 MB (30 sec.)
MP4 (hi-res) or QUICKTIME
shit happens 800 k (15 sec.)
MP4 (hi-res) or QUICKTIME
Celebrity Parking Only!
Ooze posts "Celebrity Parking Only" signs in LA - If Celebrities are better than regular people, we thought that they should have special parking spots on public streets. So as a public service, Ooze Editor Eddie Schmidt placed "Celebrity Parking Only" signs around town. While some people questioned his authority, many chose not to park in these spots. Yeah for Celebs!
MP4 Quicktime (1:21 min.) 4.8 MB
Robots GONE WILD
A depressed Robot comes home from a hard day of work and settles into --EXCITEMENT! All the sudden he's confronted with hot ROBOTS that are super SEXY and OUT-of- CONTROL! They're flipping their lids and exposing their Inner Circuits! Are you Robot enough for it?
MP4 Quicktime (1:17 min.) 4.1 MB
Regular Quicktime 3 megs
 Alien SEX (or How to Make Love to an Alien)
Xroxnarr can't find love in his home planetoid, so he summons a man of the Earth to make deep deep love to his alien self. A dimensional gate appears and "Joe" finds true love, with the help of Lionel Ritchie. Otherwise, this video is undescribable.
Quicktime (1:16 min.) 3.5 MB
HOLLYWOOD SEX TOUR
Ooze convinces seven unsuspecting tourists visiting Hollywood to get in a van and drive with us for two hours to see the places where celebrity scandals happened. We visit the toilet where cops caught George Michael jerking off, the alley Eddie Murphy picked up a foot fetishist cross dresser and much much more. It's a tour so good that the real tour operators working the area threaten to expose us to the public!
Quicktime (7 min.) 23 MB
TAP TREK
Video of our live performance where the crew of the USS Shufflin' Foot fights Abraham Lincoln for control of the UNIVERSE - with the Unlimited Power of TAP DANCE! (link take you to the Tap Trek page)
Quicktime (7 min.) 14 MB
Windows Media (7 min.) 13 MB
MJ Dancing (More Mating Dance)
MJ dances in the woods... in a speedo. The original version of this video confused over 1 million viewers! This new version makes more sense and is copyright cleared.
.MOV (35 sec.) 1.8 MB
.WMV (35 sec.) 1.6 MB
.MP4 (35 sec.) 2.7 MB
Obey the iFilm
OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE! is now being served up by ifilm. What does this mean to you? The movie looks better, and has an ad in front of it! Corporate America is embracing our message- and so should you!
Go to the ifilm page.
My Brother's Wedding
 Matt Patterson, Best Man and Videographer of circumstance, created this record of his brother's wedding. Could be called, HOW not TO MAKE A WEDDING VIDEO. Especially since it seems to mostly focus on the filmmaker and not the wedding. Mr. Patterson presents the same cut he presented his family.
Running time: 14:25
Lo-Fi (modems) 8.2 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 28.4 MB
PIE RESEARCH
 or What I Do for $40
Matt Patterson answers an ad on Craig's List to participate in a psychology experiment where he gets pies thrown in his face by a strange man while standing in a tub in his underwear. He made this to show a potential employer what he would do to get paid. He doesn't know if he got the job yet.
Running time: 3:57
Quicktime (DSL, cable) 9 MB
MP4 13 MB
 DILDO PROTOTYPE
Video segment from the "all naked talk show" Nawty Girl Tonite, (DVD available for $9.99) oozester Matt Patterson asks people to comment on some dildo "prototypes" he's invented. Not for the faint of heart, nor sound of mind.
Running time: 2:02
Lo-Fi (modems) 1.2 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 4.2 MB
OBEY THE SIGNS ...and LIVE!
Signs. They're everywhere you look, telling you something urgent, explaining the rules. Why? If you don't obey the signs, something could happen to you. Something terrible.
FESTIVALS
CENTURY CITY FILM FESTIVAL
TROMADACE 2004
Los Angeles Cacophony Society's 5 MINUTE FILM FESTIVAL "WINNER"
Running Time: 4:30
Obey the Signs Webpage
Good Girls of the Century?
 Talented songwriter, Matt composed and performs a song (640k) on his autoharp about a contest called "Good Girl of the Century" he holds for his two dogs. But do either of these dogs really qualify for an award when they've been caught being bad in this video? It makes more sense if you hear the song first.
Running time: 1:26
Lo-Fi (modems) 876 KB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 2.8 MB
DOWNLOAD all 10 DOG SONGS!
songs for Chompo and Grüen(7 min.)
1) Good Girls of the Century
2) Chomp Chomp Chomp Gruen
3) Grueny is a Good Girl
4) Chompos Go With Lunch
5) favorite Dogz
6) Chompsie Dootle
7) Good good Girls!
8) Cold as Chomp
9) Gruen, Come Home
10) Wild Dogs
11) Good Girls of the Century Reprise
 BLESSING of the
MARITAL AIDS
Once a year, the Catholic Church of Los Angeles reaches out to married couples in trouble and blesses their sex toys. Some people apparently don't like priests standing outside a porn shop and taping them. Go figure.
Running time: 3:25
Lo-Fi (modems) 2 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 8.7 MB
 EL CULO NEGRO RETURNS!
Ooze uncovered the FULL tape of our Vice Presidential candidate, EL CULO NEGRO in 2000. This version features never before behind the scenes clips of El Culo and his films - 3 min. of ALL NEW MATERIAL!
Lo-Fi (modems) 2.6 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 8.7 MB
 REEL (GAY) SEX
Ooze guest star Stephanie Escajeda asks real live gay men if they know who invested gay man sex. Nobody really knows, and they seem to take our suggestions at face value.
Running time: 1:18
Lo-Fi (modems) 832 KB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 2.6 MB
OOZE IN "SEX"
 From the Ethereal Mists of Taipei comes Ooze - the deadliest comedy warriors of all time! By denying themselves all forms of Sex, they unlocked their latent Superpowers- and are now ready to storm America! See Ooze battle in Sex-Stopping Kung-Fu Action!
(opening sequence to the Live Ooze Show)
Running Time: 1:22
Lo-Fi (modems) 1 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 2 MB - NOW WORKING!
THE ADULTS FOR ADULT CINEMA
(Protesting movie chains for NOT showing porno)
Ooze takes to the streets as the action group, THE ADULTS FOR ADULT CINEMA. What do we want? Porn in mainstream movie theatres! Why can't adults see people having raunchy sex in the comfort of a modern cineplex with its stadium seating, fresh popcorn, huge screens and digital surround sound? Ooze confronts confused patrons outside several suburban movie palaces, and is even "removed" by the LA County Sheriff's Department. Also includes an "artistic" porno we'd like to see in movie theatres called, "Traffuck."
Running Time: 5:38
Lo-Fi (modems) 1.6 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 8.3 MB
The Birds & The Bees (The Mating Dance)
We apologize for any disturbing videos you have seen on oozeTV. Please watch this soothing video to take your mind off any terror you may have experienced. Please do not be alarmed by the hordes of ferocious insects, diabolical avians nor the man gyrating in the thong. Welcome to the Apocalypse!
Lo-Fi (modems) 960 KB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 1.8 MB
Porno Mustache!
 Not gettin' any? Porno Mustache turns any dud into a Super-Stud! This simple device is a natural alternative to the drugs prescribed for sexual dysfunction. Don't take our word on it, download this educational video commercial to find out how you can become the sexual monster you always dreamed of!
Lo-Fi (modems) 1 MB
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 1.9 MB
Asian Cat Eating Video
What video has PETA up in arms? This little dozy was posted on stileproject.com and got them some legal threats. In the interest of Public Awareness of Alternative Meat dishes, we have chosen to repost the video here. We did not produce this film. - it is allegedly from S. Korea where cat is normally not stir fried as shown here, but liquefied and turned into a soup. We don't normally warn people about the content of our videos, but let's say if you don't like to see a cat head flying off a live kitten, you may want to skip this one. You also may want to skip it if you are sick of hearing Bohemian Rhapsody. It's a silly song to butcher a cat to. Why not Yes? Or Rush? Let the hatemail pour forth as PWEETA presents: Kitty.MPG
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 3.9 MB
Caught in the Act!
 Ever wonder if the personal lives of the editors at Ooze were as steamy as the content they provide? Sadly, it's not true. But The Weekly Star Reporter claims to have caught us in various acts of scandal. Discover our most hidden desires caught on tape. (This segment is the opening to the Live Ooze 'CELEBRITY' show)
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 3.9 MB
MJ GETS HIS JAW SAWED OFF
(-and Screwed Back on Again)
 Editor MJ had to get his jaw sawed off or face terrible consequences. Doctors removed an inch of his jawbone while an intern at the UCLA Medical center shot this mouth tingling procedure for oozetv. The final shot of MJ's swollen head looking like Marlon Brando's droopy visage after a few months in the Jungle, is worth the download alone. (Note: MJ is now better and only suffers from increased double chin.)
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 2.5 MB
Battle of the Undead Network Stars!
 What happens when Sonny Bono and Jim Varney return from the dead to duke it out in a series of athletic events? See sparks fly and rotting limbs flail in this 60 second promo for the upcoming network TV special from beyond the grave. (NOTE: No dead celebrities were actually harmed in the making of this commercial).
Lo-Fi (modems) 700k
Hi-Fi (DSL, cable) 2.9 MB
Hyakugojyuuichi!!
Imagine a flash movie that combines Japanese pop, Harry Potter, Mr. Bean, a kid's show talking airplane, Pee Wee Herman, and graphics taken from Ooze. Can't? We're not surprised. 14 year-old Neil Cicierega made this net phenom with Flash. He told Ooze he found the middle fingers by typing "Fuck You" into Jeeves. God Bless the Internet!
FLASH 1.9 MB
PWEETA INTERVIEW
Jeff, of Jeff @ the House, interviews PWEETA co-founder, Matt Patterson on the fundamental beliefs of the organization. People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals will not stop until 100% of the population eats meat. That includes Jeff- who is force fed dog food.
Hi-Fi (DSL, Cable etc.) 3.2 MB
The CELEBRITY RIGHTS ASSOCIATION
Celebrities are better than regular people - they're famous and you aren't! Instead of being hunted by the paparazzi and hounded by the press, they need to have their special rights and privileges recognized by the law. Ooze decided to popularize the plight of the rich & famous by taking to the street outside the Hollywood Premiere of Charlie's Angels.
Hi-Fi (DSL, Cable etc.) 24.3 MB
The DINGLEBERRYS sing
CHOKE THE CHICKEN
 What happens when beloved children TV show stars go bad? Gorilla, Bunny, Chicken and a special bodacious guest release a music video like CHOKE THE CHICKEN. Rage in a Cage with punk rock's answer to the Banana Splits, THE DINGLEBERRYS.
Lo-Fi (modems) 816k
Hi-Fi (DSL, Cable etc.) 3.6 MB
CHOKE THE CHICKEN .MP3 (Audio Only) 1 MB
The ED BEGLEY JR. LIVE SEX SHOW
 Actor Ed Begley Jr. does not host a television show where he has sex with his guests in front of a live studio audience. But if he did, could we get people to come to see a taping?
Lo-Fi (modems) 900k
Hi-Fi (DSL, Cable etc.) 3.2 MB
FUNNY TITTY VIDEO
Joe and Aaron ask people on the street to squeeze their balloon titties. Hilarious! But when you make a 'cutting-edge video' on the mean streets of Los Angeles, your keen sense of humor can get the crap beat out of you. (4.1 MB)
EL CULO NEGRO FOR VICE-PRESIDENT
Ooze braves the chaos of the Democratic National Convention to get "El Culo Negro" (the black ass) nominated as Gore's running mate. This is Part I of our attempt to get a decent candidate into the White House. (4.8 MB)
FOR MORE EL CULO FUN go to elculonegro.com
Part II finally released on 5/7/04 (8 MB)
JEFF @ THE HOUSE REVEALS OOZE TV PLANS (PART I)
OOZE ON NETWORK TV DEVELOPMENT DEAL(PART 2)
Jeff from jath.com conducts another 2-part interview with Ooze. This time we talk about our Hush-Hush Ooze Television Deal. Get the Details! (note to tv execs: we are still trying to sell the show. Buy it!) (2.4 MB - 2.1 MB)
INTERVIEW WITH OOZE ABOUT STAR WARS
PART 2 of this ACTION-PACKED INTERVIEW
Jeff from jath.com conducts a two part interview with Ooze about their infamous Star Wars Prank. A frightening journey into the minds of Ooze. (2.4 MB - 2.1 MB)
HOW BABIES ARE MADE
Ever wonder where babies came from? This "Electronic Greeting Card" explains the fundamentals. (110k - animated .gif - No Quicktime required)
PWEETA on the MARCH
Posing as Meat Rights! activists, we visit the Venice, CA boardwalk to win people over to the joys of consuming flesh – all flesh. (3.3 MB)
The FORCE is a TOOL of SATAN
We went out to Mann's Chinese Theatre opening night of The Phantom Menace posing as fundamentalist Christians protesting THE FORCE in Lucas' films. (4.6 MB)
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