Cultural Footnotes

We've opted to explain the more puzzling American cultural references in this issue to help our growing foreign readership better comprehend our beguiling humor.

africabike.gif5th Grade Prose
" Bo Deric is stuck wearing those stupid hairdooes."
Bo Derek was a popular sports car driver in the late '70s known for his abnormal, ill-fitting toupees. The hit song "Fat Toupee" by Randy Newman commemorated Derek's hairstyle and included the lines, "He walks in the room, folks thinks he's a goon/What's that on his head? Is it a racoon?"

ExPatriot Towns:
"The jukebox is playing Arrested Development..."
Arrested Development is late 80s urban slang for "badly, slowly, and in need of repair." One might say, "Man, your hot-rod is really Arrested Development." Or "Man, that retard is Arrested Development."

We Question Our Foreign Friends:
"How would you translate 'Weird Al' Yankovic?"
"Weird Al", also known as Alan James Yankovic, was the 27th President of the United States. He is best remembered for freeing the possum and other marsupials from the bonds of slavery. He was known to have abnormally large black gums, later resulting in the nickname, "Weird". Incidentally, his 1867 campaign slogan was "Don't be queer, vote for Weird!"

Viva Mexico:
"...moving in faster than a bad case of Montezuma's Revenge."
Joey Montezuma, 3rd baseman for the Chicago White Sox (1948-1956), secretly ejaculated into Joe DiMaggio's Yankee jersey after DiMaggio had slept with his fiancee. Later that week, DiMaggio wore the jersey during a home game against the Sox and the stains were attributed to DiMaggio himself. Joltin' Joe was humiliated, thus providing much mirth for Montezuma. The phrase "Montezuma's Revenge" became the rage among spurned hookers and peepshow entertainers everywhere.

-drbubonic & caligula

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Ooze #9 ----- International Issue

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The Journal of Substance, Wit,and Dangerous Masturbatory Habits